In 2010, on the eve before my 19th birthday, I wrote a blog post about my childhood encounter with my older cousin’s Ouija board. Eight months later, Amanda passed away. Now, shortly after the 13th anniversary of her death, I’m finally finishing the story I started.

I’m not sure if time heals all wounds, but it does ease the emotional burden of loss. At my lowest point, I could’ve sworn I’d entered a season of depression, and that it was going to take a lot for me to overcome it. But as the days wore on, little sparks of joy started popping up everywhere, making the world around me appear brighter.

The combination of stress and under-eating in my late teens caused my period to disappear for more than a year, which led to a host of health issues in my 20s (including PCOS and hypothyroidism). To throw fuel on the fire, I was on and off the pill during those critical reproductive years as well. It was only once I quit the pill and learned to support my body’s natural rhythm through cycle syncing that I was able to reach a level of health I felt good about.

The one thing I’ve learned in all of this is that our health journeys are not linear. There will always be setbacks, and bad days, that make it feel like you’re forever doomed with this particular symptom or that particular issue. But don’t take those periodic feelings of hopelessness to mean that you’re not growing or improving. Progress happens slowly, over time, in the dull, uneventful moments of everyday life, and sometimes when you least expect it. For me, it took finally letting go of my fears and worries to truly reach a place where I could see noticeable, life-altering improvement—and it was only after I mentally gave up all control that I found myself staring at a positive pregnancy test. 

In today’s post, for the first time ever, I'm opening up about the health obstacles I faced from childhood through my early 20s, when I finally received a diagnosis that paved the way for me to both pursue my passion as an NTP and take back my health once and for all. Hope you enjoy it!